Stuck in Phone Hell...

When did it happen that as a country we decided that we didn't want to talk to real people anymore? Who decided that automated phone systems were a thing of the future? I HATE them!

I've always tried the "I've still got a rotary phone" and just waited until a real person came on the phone. It doesn't work anymore.

Then I started to "press 0 for the operator" and would usually get someone on the phone fairly quickly. Not anymore. Now you have to go deep into the pit of phone answering to get to the 0 command.

Now, I've found that a lot of automated systems are voice activated. What the heck! How am I supposed to even start to deal with that?!? I get on the phone and shut the office door. I've been "talking" into the phone for about 4 minutes when one of my kids barges into the room and starts talking to me. This is the conversation that ensues:

Twerp: "Mom, can I have a cheese stick?"

Automated System: "I'm sorry, I didn't understand that response. Please speak your account number so we can get you to the right operator."

Me (with my hand over the phone): "Yes, you can have a cheese stick. Be quiet and shut the door on your way out."

Automated System: "I'm sorry, I didn't understand that response. Please speak your account number so we can get you to the right operator."

Me: "1234ABCD5678EFGH"

Automated System: "I'm sorry, that wasn't a complete account number. Please speak your account number so we can get you to the right operator."

Twerp #2: "Mom, my brother is having a cheese stick, can I have one also?"

Automated System: "I'm sorry, I didn't understand that response. Please speak your account number so we can get you to the right operator."
Me (with my hand over the phone): "Yes, you can have a cheese stick. Be quiet and shut the door on your way out. I need to finish this phone conversation. No more interruptions"

Automated System: "I'm sorry, I didn't understand that response. Please speak your account number so we can get you to the right operator."

Me: "1234ABCD5678EFGH"

Automated System: "Could you please tell me with one or two words what question you would like to have answered."

Me: "Billing question."

Twerps: "Mom, can we eat them in the TV Room?"

Me: "Yes."

Automated System: "I'm sorry, I couldn't understand you answer. Could you please tell me with one or two words what question you would like to have answered."

Me (the sound of the TV is getting much louder as they are pressing the incorrect button to turn down the volume): "BILLING QUESTION"

Automated System: "I'm sorry, I couldn't understand you answer. Could you please tell me with one or two words what question you would like to have answered."

Me: "I'd like to speak to a REAL PERSON!"

Automated System: "I'm sorry, I couldn't understand you answer. Could you please tell me with one or two words what question you would like to have answered."

Me: "I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO A REAL PERSON!"

Automated System: "I'm sorry, I couldn't understand you answer. Could you please tell me with one or two words what question you would like to have answered."

HANG UP!

What's the deal? I wasted 15 minutes of my life talking to myself and my children and I still don't have my billing question answered. I decide that I'll wait until midnight to make the call. Of course, by that time, I've completely forgotten that there is a "billing question" until Stephen calls me the next afternoon and asks, in his innocent way, "did you ever figure out that billing question that we had with XYZ company?" Ugh. It starts all over again.

However, for those of you that have had this same issue, there is a website that gives you all the codes to bypass the phone systems. Brilliant. I would have paid something for this service, but it's completely FREE! GetHuman.com I love it! Enjoy the website and the hours of your life that you will get back when you are no longer on hold with the machine anymore. Make sure you have the kleenex with you because you will be crying tears of joy! I know, you're welcome.